Just another bad day

Today is just one of days when I hate my job. It makes me wonder whether I made the right decision by working full time at my young age. Working in a private bank can be really frustrating at times, especially if you are working in the private banking department. Dealing with rich arrogant people can be very demanding at times.

I have a very wonderful boss; he is very understanding and never stands in the way of his employee’s development (unlike some other managers I have worked with). The people in my department are very friendly as well; being only 20 years old sometimes gives me an advantage over the rest; I get to joke around and draw smiles on their faces. Today on the other hand, I had a very bad day, so I just sat at my desk and did my own thing. My colleagues asked me what was wrong with me today, but I kept ignoring.

Sometimes I feel like I am very stupid, I keep forgetting to follow up on things, which is a huge part of my job description. I have to follow up on the whole department and check if everything is going alright, you can say like an internal compliance agent. Today when I got to the office I checked my mail for a while and after approximately 15 minutes my boss got in. He called me and asked me about one of the tasks given to me two days ago; I could not finish it because I had passed the cut-off time of the other bank. So I told him I would call them today, when I called the lady in Oman, she said there was a problem and they could not pass the transaction (apparently she had forgot to let me know, but it is also my responsibility to check up) So I solved the issue with a two day delay and let my boss know of what had happened. He asked me how this could happen and who was going to pay the difference to the client if the rate had changed? I just stood there and looked at him, I felt numb and could not move; if only the earth would open up and swallow me in. There was a 10 second silent eye contact and I had no clue what to answer, there basically was no answer. After I asked him if he wanted me to do anything else about it, he said no it’s fine. I felt so bad; I felt like there was no place for me here. A kid, how did they even trust me with this job? How did they recruit me in the first place?

I don’t want to sound like a depressed girl who has no clue what she wants from life, but I have to take this path for the time being. This job is just a backup plan for my real journey that I will hopefully be starting later this year.