Today is just one of days when I hate my job. It makes me wonder whether I made the right decision by working full time at my young age. Working in a private bank can be really frustrating at times, especially if you are working in the private banking department. Dealing with rich arrogant people can be very demanding at times.
I have a very wonderful boss; he is very understanding and never stands in the way of his employee’s development (unlike some other managers I have worked with). The people in my department are very friendly as well; being only 20 years old sometimes gives me an advantage over the rest; I get to joke around and draw smiles on their faces. Today on the other hand, I had a very bad day, so I just sat at my desk and did my own thing. My colleagues asked me what was wrong with me today, but I kept ignoring.
Sometimes I feel like I am very stupid, I keep forgetting to follow up on things, which is a huge part of my job description. I have to follow up on the whole department and check if everything is going alright, you can say like an internal compliance agent. Today when I got to the office I checked my mail for a while and after approximately 15 minutes my boss got in. He called me and asked me about one of the tasks given to me two days ago; I could not finish it because I had passed the cut-off time of the other bank. So I told him I would call them today, when I called the lady in Oman, she said there was a problem and they could not pass the transaction (apparently she had forgot to let me know, but it is also my responsibility to check up) So I solved the issue with a two day delay and let my boss know of what had happened. He asked me how this could happen and who was going to pay the difference to the client if the rate had changed? I just stood there and looked at him, I felt numb and could not move; if only the earth would open up and swallow me in. There was a 10 second silent eye contact and I had no clue what to answer, there basically was no answer. After I asked him if he wanted me to do anything else about it, he said no it’s fine. I felt so bad; I felt like there was no place for me here. A kid, how did they even trust me with this job? How did they recruit me in the first place?
I don’t want to sound like a depressed girl who has no clue what she wants from life, but I have to take this path for the time being. This job is just a backup plan for my real journey that I will hopefully be starting later this year.
Wednesday, February 28, 2007
Tuesday, February 27, 2007
Not so left out
Both times I traveled to Egypt, I had a wonderful time. The first time was earlier this month when we had our MEPI re-union; our group of 21 students from 15 Arab countries got back together in Egypt to share what we did with our lives and where we are heading after the summer leadership program. And the second time was the wonderful IPM. At the beginning I felt that it was a total mistake in me being there; I wasn’t MCPe and I definitely wasn’t MCP, so what was I doing there? The reason I was supposed to go was to see how the AIESEC International conferences were like and also to get some contacts for our exchange deals that we need to do for Bahrain. Well that sounded easy in the beginning but it was not the case; I felt like I knew nothing compared to the rest of the participants. They all came with bags of knowledge about AIESEC and the internships they had done and me, the spoilt khaleeji (from the GCC) girl knew nothing. I could not start a conversation with anyone because I felt like I had nothing important to say, besides when I would hear people talking to each other about AIESEC, I had no clue what they were saying. For Gods sake I have only in AIESEC for less than a year, I still have a long was to go.
Finally one afternoon I sat at a table with some people for lunch and they were having a typical conversation about AIESEC; the guy opposite to me was from India and he asked me how I was finding the conference, and I said that it was going alright. Next to me was the really cute MCP from Spain, he had the most difficult name in the world and have no clue what it is. He was saying that he wants to move on and that he might do an internship with AIESEC, so I asked him what type of internship he was looking for and he completely ignored me. I felt like they spilled acid onto my face, my face was burning up and I could not say a single word. It was the end of the conversation for me; I just looked at my plate and thought to myself, why I have so much food on my plate. What the hell was I thinking for taking so much food, no wonder I was fat. I swallowed what I had in my mouth and played around with the rest of what was in my plate and after a bit I left.
After that incident, I went into my own zone and completely stayed to myself. I would not start a conversation with anyone and would only sit and observe people. Until one morning when I was on my way to breakfast, I met a guy named Andries from Belgium and he was the sweetest thing ever. We walked together to the restaurant and he asked me the same question, how are you finding the IPM? And as usual I said it was good. When we got to the restaurant he met up with his friends and I started scanning the place for an empty seat; that is when he asked me to join them. I felt so happy, I put my things on the chair and went the buffet and only got coffee, feta cheese and a bun with some cucumber. I came back to find the table filled with people. I felt scared; what if they ignore me again, I could not handle another rejection. I sat down quietly and looked at Andries, he was having a conversation with one of the people at the table, and I just listened and kept quiet the whole time. Suddenly the girl from Canada said “that’s mean” and I looked at her and strange enough she was referring to my t-shirt that said “only idiots read t-shirts” I looked at her and couldn’t help but laugh; she smiled and made some comment about the food. The rest of the day went great I was filled with energy and was looking forward to the WENA Party that night.
So after the conference was over, people from the WENA region came with their bottles of drinks and setup their stands. Each country had a table and a sign with their country on it. I got in and saw people drinking and having a good time. I stood behind the stands and watched people get drunk and make fools of themselves. After they all had some alcohol, we all moved into the club because it was more airy and there was more space to dance around. Everyone was having fun; while I was sitting there and watching people I really began to admire them. Most if not all of them were very hardworking people who cared for the rest of the world and most of their days they spend doing good things for the betterment of others. These people sacrificed their careers for AIESEC and are giving this organization all they have because they believe this organization is for the betterment of the world. Most of them go through shit all the time, but yet when it comes to having fun, they are the first in line. I loved being there with them.
I left the club and went outside to the swimming pool and sat there observing the wind brushing the dirt on the water and the moonlight reflecting on the water. It was really late and very cold, but it was so quiet and calm that I wanted to stay there till morning. Some people passed by and asked me if everything was okay and I kept telling them I was fine; I truly was fine, I was just enjoying the silence. At around 4 am Andries was heading to his room when he saw me sitting next to the pool. He came and sat next to me and without him asking I told him I was fine and there was nothing wrong, and he could go to bed. She sat anyways and said he liked the silence as well. Out of nowhere I started talking about my family and what I went through and how they will react when I tell them that I’m planning to live abroad for the next coming few years. That was pretty deep stuff to tell to a guy whom I hardly knew; he started spilling some things as well. It felt good after the conversation; we walked back quietly to our rooms together but the silence meant so much. We talked a bit more and called it a night. It was a night I will never forget.
Finally one afternoon I sat at a table with some people for lunch and they were having a typical conversation about AIESEC; the guy opposite to me was from India and he asked me how I was finding the conference, and I said that it was going alright. Next to me was the really cute MCP from Spain, he had the most difficult name in the world and have no clue what it is. He was saying that he wants to move on and that he might do an internship with AIESEC, so I asked him what type of internship he was looking for and he completely ignored me. I felt like they spilled acid onto my face, my face was burning up and I could not say a single word. It was the end of the conversation for me; I just looked at my plate and thought to myself, why I have so much food on my plate. What the hell was I thinking for taking so much food, no wonder I was fat. I swallowed what I had in my mouth and played around with the rest of what was in my plate and after a bit I left.
After that incident, I went into my own zone and completely stayed to myself. I would not start a conversation with anyone and would only sit and observe people. Until one morning when I was on my way to breakfast, I met a guy named Andries from Belgium and he was the sweetest thing ever. We walked together to the restaurant and he asked me the same question, how are you finding the IPM? And as usual I said it was good. When we got to the restaurant he met up with his friends and I started scanning the place for an empty seat; that is when he asked me to join them. I felt so happy, I put my things on the chair and went the buffet and only got coffee, feta cheese and a bun with some cucumber. I came back to find the table filled with people. I felt scared; what if they ignore me again, I could not handle another rejection. I sat down quietly and looked at Andries, he was having a conversation with one of the people at the table, and I just listened and kept quiet the whole time. Suddenly the girl from Canada said “that’s mean” and I looked at her and strange enough she was referring to my t-shirt that said “only idiots read t-shirts” I looked at her and couldn’t help but laugh; she smiled and made some comment about the food. The rest of the day went great I was filled with energy and was looking forward to the WENA Party that night.
So after the conference was over, people from the WENA region came with their bottles of drinks and setup their stands. Each country had a table and a sign with their country on it. I got in and saw people drinking and having a good time. I stood behind the stands and watched people get drunk and make fools of themselves. After they all had some alcohol, we all moved into the club because it was more airy and there was more space to dance around. Everyone was having fun; while I was sitting there and watching people I really began to admire them. Most if not all of them were very hardworking people who cared for the rest of the world and most of their days they spend doing good things for the betterment of others. These people sacrificed their careers for AIESEC and are giving this organization all they have because they believe this organization is for the betterment of the world. Most of them go through shit all the time, but yet when it comes to having fun, they are the first in line. I loved being there with them.
I left the club and went outside to the swimming pool and sat there observing the wind brushing the dirt on the water and the moonlight reflecting on the water. It was really late and very cold, but it was so quiet and calm that I wanted to stay there till morning. Some people passed by and asked me if everything was okay and I kept telling them I was fine; I truly was fine, I was just enjoying the silence. At around 4 am Andries was heading to his room when he saw me sitting next to the pool. He came and sat next to me and without him asking I told him I was fine and there was nothing wrong, and he could go to bed. She sat anyways and said he liked the silence as well. Out of nowhere I started talking about my family and what I went through and how they will react when I tell them that I’m planning to live abroad for the next coming few years. That was pretty deep stuff to tell to a guy whom I hardly knew; he started spilling some things as well. It felt good after the conversation; we walked back quietly to our rooms together but the silence meant so much. We talked a bit more and called it a night. It was a night I will never forget.
Monday, February 26, 2007
First day in Egypt
So here I am, back in Bahrain from Egypt. I attended the IPM (International Presidents Meeting) for AIESEC and it was an amazing experience. Sitting in a room with 200 people from over 96 countries is an experience no one can ever forget.
I got to Egypt at around 2.30 am and by the time we got to the hotel (if that’s what it’s called) it was around 4.30 am. The name of the hotel was Caesars Palace, if Caesar knew that they would be naming a hotel like this after him, he would have never wanted to be a hero. I was given a room number and was told I had to share it with a girl from Moldova, naturally I though that would happen and I was completely prepared for that. When I got to the room, I could not open it and after knocking for more than 5 minutes at the door, someone opened the door. I was very excited to meet my roommate whom I was only going to be with for four hours, but apparently she was too sleepy to even say hello. When I got into the room I got the shock of my life, it was a tiny room with things falling apart, we had one bed which I could barely call a queen sized bed and we had to share that. My roommate went to sleep on one side and told me to sleep on the other side; I went through my bags to get my pajamas and toothbrush out and went into the toilet to wash up. When I got in there I wondered if I did the right thing by coming to the conference; it’s true that it is a wonderful conference but is it worth living in a dump like this. Anyways I washed up and went to bed, I only had two hours to get some rest but I could not fall asleep. There was only one blanket and it didn’t do much because it was freezing cold and the bed felt like a rock, anyways after a couple of minutes of tossing and turning I fell asleep.
I got up at 7.30am and woke up my roommate who thanked me for waking her up. She apologized about the previous night and introduced herself formally, she was Tatiana from Moldova. We changed into our traditional clothes, packed our bags, took some pictures and went down stairs to get into the buses to leave. When I got down I saw Claude wearing his Bahraini thob and a big smile on his face, boy was I glad to see him. We got to the buses and went to the Marriott Hotel where our Opening Plenary was conducted. I sat at a table with people from Iceland, Thailand, Philippines, Bangladesh, Canada and a couple more countries. The girl from Iceland was very interested in my country and started asking me where it was and what the country was like and the culture etc, I tried to tell her as much as I could without giving her a first bad impression. After the Plenary we got to the buses again and headed to the Cairo Opera House and got our stuff out and ready for the Global Village. We had Egyptians come and ask about Bahrain and tried out sweets, it was really good, by the end of it I got to take a round with John to some of the stalls that we still up, I visited Australia, Brazil, Pakistan and some more. After that we got into the buses again and headed for Palmera Resort in Ain Sokhna where the conference would be conducted; it was the longest drive of my life. Half way I felt like I was suffocating, there was no ventilation in the bus and the bus smelled like a mixture of wet stinky socks, farts and stinky armpits; I was about to cry when we stopped for a break in the middle of nowhere. We got down at heaven; the cold fresh air was the best thing that happened to me since I got to Egypt, I just wanted to stay there for the rest of the trip; the whole 15 minutes I tried not to think of getting into the bus again but I could not help it. They called us back, so I went to the door took the deepest breath of my life and got into the bus.
Finally after a while we got to the resort, it was a really beautiful place. We got down and went straight to dinner; it was good food, finally some good started coming out of the trip. After that we went and registered to get into our rooms. This time I was roommates with Kristina from Austria who was the current MCP for Qatar. We got to the room, and I found the same double bed where we had to sleep on. I didn’t care I had a good roommate and it was a good airy room with a very nice balcony. I took a shower and we had to meet down to do our roll call preparation, after that I went straight to bed hoping tomorrow would be a better day.
I got to Egypt at around 2.30 am and by the time we got to the hotel (if that’s what it’s called) it was around 4.30 am. The name of the hotel was Caesars Palace, if Caesar knew that they would be naming a hotel like this after him, he would have never wanted to be a hero. I was given a room number and was told I had to share it with a girl from Moldova, naturally I though that would happen and I was completely prepared for that. When I got to the room, I could not open it and after knocking for more than 5 minutes at the door, someone opened the door. I was very excited to meet my roommate whom I was only going to be with for four hours, but apparently she was too sleepy to even say hello. When I got into the room I got the shock of my life, it was a tiny room with things falling apart, we had one bed which I could barely call a queen sized bed and we had to share that. My roommate went to sleep on one side and told me to sleep on the other side; I went through my bags to get my pajamas and toothbrush out and went into the toilet to wash up. When I got in there I wondered if I did the right thing by coming to the conference; it’s true that it is a wonderful conference but is it worth living in a dump like this. Anyways I washed up and went to bed, I only had two hours to get some rest but I could not fall asleep. There was only one blanket and it didn’t do much because it was freezing cold and the bed felt like a rock, anyways after a couple of minutes of tossing and turning I fell asleep.
I got up at 7.30am and woke up my roommate who thanked me for waking her up. She apologized about the previous night and introduced herself formally, she was Tatiana from Moldova. We changed into our traditional clothes, packed our bags, took some pictures and went down stairs to get into the buses to leave. When I got down I saw Claude wearing his Bahraini thob and a big smile on his face, boy was I glad to see him. We got to the buses and went to the Marriott Hotel where our Opening Plenary was conducted. I sat at a table with people from Iceland, Thailand, Philippines, Bangladesh, Canada and a couple more countries. The girl from Iceland was very interested in my country and started asking me where it was and what the country was like and the culture etc, I tried to tell her as much as I could without giving her a first bad impression. After the Plenary we got to the buses again and headed to the Cairo Opera House and got our stuff out and ready for the Global Village. We had Egyptians come and ask about Bahrain and tried out sweets, it was really good, by the end of it I got to take a round with John to some of the stalls that we still up, I visited Australia, Brazil, Pakistan and some more. After that we got into the buses again and headed for Palmera Resort in Ain Sokhna where the conference would be conducted; it was the longest drive of my life. Half way I felt like I was suffocating, there was no ventilation in the bus and the bus smelled like a mixture of wet stinky socks, farts and stinky armpits; I was about to cry when we stopped for a break in the middle of nowhere. We got down at heaven; the cold fresh air was the best thing that happened to me since I got to Egypt, I just wanted to stay there for the rest of the trip; the whole 15 minutes I tried not to think of getting into the bus again but I could not help it. They called us back, so I went to the door took the deepest breath of my life and got into the bus.
Finally after a while we got to the resort, it was a really beautiful place. We got down and went straight to dinner; it was good food, finally some good started coming out of the trip. After that we went and registered to get into our rooms. This time I was roommates with Kristina from Austria who was the current MCP for Qatar. We got to the room, and I found the same double bed where we had to sleep on. I didn’t care I had a good roommate and it was a good airy room with a very nice balcony. I took a shower and we had to meet down to do our roll call preparation, after that I went straight to bed hoping tomorrow would be a better day.
Thursday, February 15, 2007
My First Blog
Finally I' m an official Blogger!!
It’s been a while since I started reading people's Blog; Some Blogs of people I know but mostly of random people. It’s really interesting to know what goes on in the heads of people. One of the blogs I read said that he was blogging because he wanted people to know what his day was like; but to me I don't think thats what happens. We all might have the same day, the same events, but each person sees it in a different way; I think with blogs you can understand what’s wandering in the head of the blogger.
So why did I decide to blog?
Well one reason because I think that everyone is worth reading about, and I am one of everyone. Another reason is that I think my life would be interesting to some people. I am a 20 year old Bahraini girl, who comes from a fairly liberal family. My mum is Iranian and my dad is Bahraini (but originally his ancestors were from Iran). I have 4 siblings, 3 of which are male and one female. My siblings are all older than me; and by older I mean REALLY older (the difference between me and the youngest of them is 16 years). So basically I am the baby of the house. All my siblings are married with kids except for one of them who is divorced and is staying with us. Now when it comes to the western culture it would be embarrassing if a 36 year old still lived with his parents, but in my culture it is totally acceptable.
So there you have it, my culture, my family, my work, my school, my AIESEC. All the things I hold close to my heart, all the things that make up who I am. All these things I will be posting on my blog.
It’s been a while since I started reading people's Blog; Some Blogs of people I know but mostly of random people. It’s really interesting to know what goes on in the heads of people. One of the blogs I read said that he was blogging because he wanted people to know what his day was like; but to me I don't think thats what happens. We all might have the same day, the same events, but each person sees it in a different way; I think with blogs you can understand what’s wandering in the head of the blogger.
So why did I decide to blog?
Well one reason because I think that everyone is worth reading about, and I am one of everyone. Another reason is that I think my life would be interesting to some people. I am a 20 year old Bahraini girl, who comes from a fairly liberal family. My mum is Iranian and my dad is Bahraini (but originally his ancestors were from Iran). I have 4 siblings, 3 of which are male and one female. My siblings are all older than me; and by older I mean REALLY older (the difference between me and the youngest of them is 16 years). So basically I am the baby of the house. All my siblings are married with kids except for one of them who is divorced and is staying with us. Now when it comes to the western culture it would be embarrassing if a 36 year old still lived with his parents, but in my culture it is totally acceptable.
So there you have it, my culture, my family, my work, my school, my AIESEC. All the things I hold close to my heart, all the things that make up who I am. All these things I will be posting on my blog.
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