I’m really excited about the rest of my year; finally I will be able to see the world and experience the different aspects of life. At the same time I am scared, I don’t know what decisions to take, how these decisions will effect my life? Are they wise ones? Are they worth all the tension I have created within my family? Will I really be able to go and do things that I want to do. Will I be able to go to the places I hold close to my heart? Am I capable of taking up these responsibilities? Will they regret choosing me?
Questions, Questions, Questions… I spend most of my unused time thinking of these; while driving to work, while driving to school, while talking to a person who makes no sense.
I don’t want to approach July, yet I can’t wait for August.
Wednesday, May 23, 2007
Thursday, May 17, 2007
Seasons of Love
I have been listening to this song over and over again and driving people crazy at work with it.
Five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred minutes
Five hundred twenty five thousand moments so dear
Five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred minutes
How do you measure? Measure a year
In daylights?
In sunsets?
In midnights?
In cups of coffee?
In inches, in miles, in laughter, in strife?
In five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred minutes
how do you measure a year in a life?
how about love?
how about love?
how about love?
measure in love...
seasons of love...
seasons of love...
Five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred minutes
Five hundred twenty five thousand journeys to plan
Five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred minutes
How do you measure a life of a woman or a man?
In truths that she learned
or in times that she cried
In bridges he burned
or the way that she died
Its time now to sing out though
the story never ends
Let's celebrate remember a year in a life
of friends
remember the love...
(oh you gotta remember the love)
remember the love...
(oh yeah, its a gift from up above)
remember the love...
(sing out, give out, measure your life
in love...!!!)
seasons of love...
seasons of love...
Five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred minutes
Five hundred twenty five thousand moments so dear
Five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred minutes
How do you measure? Measure a year
In daylights?
In sunsets?
In midnights?
In cups of coffee?
In inches, in miles, in laughter, in strife?
In five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred minutes
how do you measure a year in a life?
how about love?
how about love?
how about love?
measure in love...
seasons of love...
seasons of love...
Five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred minutes
Five hundred twenty five thousand journeys to plan
Five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred minutes
How do you measure a life of a woman or a man?
In truths that she learned
or in times that she cried
In bridges he burned
or the way that she died
Its time now to sing out though
the story never ends
Let's celebrate remember a year in a life
of friends
remember the love...
(oh you gotta remember the love)
remember the love...
(oh yeah, its a gift from up above)
remember the love...
(sing out, give out, measure your life
in love...!!!)
seasons of love...
seasons of love...
Wednesday, May 16, 2007
What I am
There are people in my life I wish I had not met.
There are things in life that I wish I had not done.
There are places in life I wish I never visited.
There are decisions in life I wish I had not taken
But all these make up who I am.
All these have made me what I am today.
There are things in life that I wish I had not done.
There are places in life I wish I never visited.
There are decisions in life I wish I had not taken
But all these make up who I am.
All these have made me what I am today.
Friday, May 4, 2007
Satisfaction
A couple of days ago, I went out with some of my friends that I haven’t chilled out with since last summer. We went driving around Bahrain getting random things to eat and drink and talking about our lives and where ‘Shereen’ is at the moment.
I used to hang out with them all the time, we would spend almost the whole day together when I first got to university, but that all changed when I got even more active and started working. Meeting them after such a long time made me think about the steps I took throughout that time. I was telling them about my stories of Morocco, Egypt, the States, the people I met and the things I did and they were not the least interested. They went over why I shouldn’t have done most of the things I had done in the last year and how I should stop acting as a kid and start to grow up.
They then started talking about the usual things they used to talk about like cars, bags, weddings, who is doing what etc which I never had interest in anyways. I felt left out, I felt I did not belong there anymore; I felt they didn’t even want me there anymore.
I realized maybe I do sound like a kid to them; maybe it is crazy to want to leave the good life I’m living here and take the challenge of living somewhere much difficult. But that is what I want to do; that is what gives me satisfaction. It’s the small things in life that make me happy; doing crazy childish thing like asking for diet water makes me laugh, makes me happy and I enjoy my life that way. Everyone has something that makes them happy maybe is a new car, a new bag, a boyfriend, a whatever for me it is much simpler its just the people I am around, the weird things we do together, the driving around with good music we can sing along to and make people laugh even though it is laughing at us.
I used to hang out with them all the time, we would spend almost the whole day together when I first got to university, but that all changed when I got even more active and started working. Meeting them after such a long time made me think about the steps I took throughout that time. I was telling them about my stories of Morocco, Egypt, the States, the people I met and the things I did and they were not the least interested. They went over why I shouldn’t have done most of the things I had done in the last year and how I should stop acting as a kid and start to grow up.
They then started talking about the usual things they used to talk about like cars, bags, weddings, who is doing what etc which I never had interest in anyways. I felt left out, I felt I did not belong there anymore; I felt they didn’t even want me there anymore.
I realized maybe I do sound like a kid to them; maybe it is crazy to want to leave the good life I’m living here and take the challenge of living somewhere much difficult. But that is what I want to do; that is what gives me satisfaction. It’s the small things in life that make me happy; doing crazy childish thing like asking for diet water makes me laugh, makes me happy and I enjoy my life that way. Everyone has something that makes them happy maybe is a new car, a new bag, a boyfriend, a whatever for me it is much simpler its just the people I am around, the weird things we do together, the driving around with good music we can sing along to and make people laugh even though it is laughing at us.
Tuesday, May 1, 2007
A True Failure
All my life I am seen as a leader by my friends, my teachers, my family, my colleagues. Today I have realized that I am nothing of that sort. Anytime I am the leader of a group everything goes wrong. I either don’t have enough people in my team or they just don’t attend. Does a leader ever exist without people who believe in him or her?
In AIESEC, I have the smallest team of six people and you would think that it would be easy to manage a team of that size but it is driving me crazy. Most meetings are just attended by 2 or maximum 3 members. I have tried with all sorts of ways being from emails to sms to calling them up and encouraging them to come but nothing seems to be getting to them. They might attend for one meeting and then lack off again.
My Student Life Organization team is even worse. During the years at university I invested most of my time to this team as different leading positions within the team and after not given the chance of leading the whole team by being president, I decided to leave since I had been humiliated after giving so much and nothing being appreciated. I was given the position after everyone had left and the organization had collapsed. Now I am trying to run an organization that had more than 30 members with only 3. Me, my vice and my events manager.
At work I have always been given the most difficult tasks; Tasks that no one else wants to do or tasks that are incomplete and should be completed with a headache. Yesterday I heard my boss say to his assistant whatever problems you have with cases give it to Shereen. Most times I get the job done, after running around the whole day and bugging the people to process what I need. But when I don’t get it done, I feel like there is no need for my presence if I can’t finish a task given to me by my superiors.
The three things that I hold close to my heart and work my ass off all day for them have been a total failure when it comes to me doing them. So what do these people (friends, teachers, professors, colleagues) see in me that I don’t see? Maybe they don’t see my downfalls but here I’m letting you all know what RELLY happens.
I might be a failure but I am proud of myself, I’m proud of every sweat I have put into anything I do because whenever I do it, I do it whole heartedly. I do it not for selfish reasons but for the betterment of everyone. I might not always get things done, but at least I try and God knows I try HARD. There is not much left for my terms to end but I promised myself that when I leave, I will leave the organizations better than I started and this is what I am planning to do. I am a failure; but I am one hell of a good failure.
In AIESEC, I have the smallest team of six people and you would think that it would be easy to manage a team of that size but it is driving me crazy. Most meetings are just attended by 2 or maximum 3 members. I have tried with all sorts of ways being from emails to sms to calling them up and encouraging them to come but nothing seems to be getting to them. They might attend for one meeting and then lack off again.
My Student Life Organization team is even worse. During the years at university I invested most of my time to this team as different leading positions within the team and after not given the chance of leading the whole team by being president, I decided to leave since I had been humiliated after giving so much and nothing being appreciated. I was given the position after everyone had left and the organization had collapsed. Now I am trying to run an organization that had more than 30 members with only 3. Me, my vice and my events manager.
At work I have always been given the most difficult tasks; Tasks that no one else wants to do or tasks that are incomplete and should be completed with a headache. Yesterday I heard my boss say to his assistant whatever problems you have with cases give it to Shereen. Most times I get the job done, after running around the whole day and bugging the people to process what I need. But when I don’t get it done, I feel like there is no need for my presence if I can’t finish a task given to me by my superiors.
The three things that I hold close to my heart and work my ass off all day for them have been a total failure when it comes to me doing them. So what do these people (friends, teachers, professors, colleagues) see in me that I don’t see? Maybe they don’t see my downfalls but here I’m letting you all know what RELLY happens.
I might be a failure but I am proud of myself, I’m proud of every sweat I have put into anything I do because whenever I do it, I do it whole heartedly. I do it not for selfish reasons but for the betterment of everyone. I might not always get things done, but at least I try and God knows I try HARD. There is not much left for my terms to end but I promised myself that when I leave, I will leave the organizations better than I started and this is what I am planning to do. I am a failure; but I am one hell of a good failure.
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