While I was walking from the parking lot to the office today, I saw a guy walking past me stare at my breasts. I felt very bad; I wasn’t even wearing anything tight or revealing. I just wanted to go up to him and ask him what was wrong with him. I felt like slapping him across the face…
I’m not a religious person; I don’t pray and I only attend religious events because it is more cultural to me than it is religious. There is one part of Islam that I used to disagree with, and that is the part of the hijab. I never used to see the point of having a hijab in this time and age and to some extents I still don’t, but the funny thing is that I have thought about wearing it a million times. It is not the aspect of just covering your hair and neck that I want to follow, but what I respect is the fact of covering my body and respecting my body and not allowing men or women to look down at it or look at it as a sex object.
I am a person of jeans and t-shirts (seen as very casual and ‘just don’t give a shit’ attitude) but even though, some men still check out my private parts and that seriously pisses me off. I keep playing with the idea of me wearing loose long shirts with pants and something to cover my neck and ears, but I get frightened of that image easily. It is something that will make me feel comfortable, but will also mean taking away my true identity. Then comes the question of which is more important? My true identity? Or my comfort? To me I say both but mostly my identity and who I am. Funny enough though is that I am not living my true identity here in Bahrain, I do restrict myself to certain things because of family reputation and so on.
Another issue that I have to be careful with is if I wear the hijab, then I have to live my whole life a certain way. This mean no more partying all night if I am outside the country, no more hanging around with my friends (boys) the way I do now, no more doing AIESEC dances wherever I want, no more singing in the office and making everyone feel good and certainly no more doing random crazy things like dressing up as Santa on Christmas and walking in the streets.
So what do I do?! I don’t know. Will I be able to cover myself up while people still see me as the same person or should I just continue being the same way and just deal with the fact that people like checking each other out?
1 comment:
Shereeen i'm gonna kill you! We both have blogs that we don't know about! This is Dima MEPI by the way. Shereen just the fact that you are considering hijab is very mature. I'm telling you, it's not a decision you take over night.
A lot of ppl say you have to wear it just because Allah said that. Well, that's not enough. U have to search for more reasons to wear it. Like what you are doing now. Shereen you know me, im outgoing, i have fun. i'm living my life. Did hijab make me change my life style a bit? yes it surely did. But in my case, i changed to the better. At least i don't feel guilty everytime men check me out. Because i did what i had to do. I like hijab as an idea. I feel that even if i wasn't a muslim, i would still like to wear it. Because the concept itself is very mature. Hijab makes others focus on discovering me from the inside rather than from the outside. You have to make a balance here. Don't decide that hijab will foce you to live immitating a person you are not. Hijab is not to suppress you.
I didn't feel it did at all. If you were hijab you can change things and keep things. Don't care what others say. It's your hijab. Shereen's hijab. Add your own personality to it. Add a new concept to your hijab.
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