I have been in the UAE for a little more than a month now and have already been to three different weddings. There is a lot of difference between the weddings here and in Bahrain. The weddings here are filled with food; since the time we arrive till we leave we eat. When you first take a seat, there are appetizers on the table; appetizers consisting of hummus, moutable, spring rolls, samboosa, salad, sweets … At the same time you have women walking around serving western coffee, Arabic coffee, juices, tea, hot milk with herbs, sweets, chocolates, perfumes …
Dinner is served around 10 pm; this includes different types of rice, harees, grills, salad and much more. After dinner the bride enters (usually alone) and walks around showing off her hair-do, make-up and gown (more of a fashion show than a bride walking to her seat). After she takes her seat, friends and close family go to her and congratulate her and take pictures. While this is happening, guess what is going around??? Dessert !!! Consisting of more than four to five different types of sweets.
One thing that is very different from Bahrain is that there is almost no dancing at the weddings. The women just sit around and chat and no one dances. Very rarely would you find a girl who is a direct family member dance.
So the first wedding I went to, I was very into the songs and had a huge urge to dance and so I got up and danced. It was a very stupid thing of me to do since I knew no one at the wedding and was just invited last minute to just see what Emirati weddings were like. Good thing I thought that no one knew me so it didn’t matter; next day at the college a girl comes up to me and tells me I look familiar. Turned out she was at the wedding and she made that clear by telling me that she saw me dance!!
Can’t wait for January to go back home for Bahraini weddings!!!
Sunday, November 25, 2007
Monday, November 12, 2007
An Eye-Opening Day
Yesterday I went see one of my extended cousins and it was the most eye-opening day in my entire life. I learnt about a lot of things that I didn’t know existed to this extent in this part of the world. My cousin invited me for brunch with her friends at her house; this was an opportunity I didn’t want to miss. So I went to work early and tried to wrap up what I had to do for the day. I got to her house around 11.30 am and there was food almost everywhere (which by the way I realized is the centre of attention in almost everything that goes around here but that just another posting). The women were sitting around talking about their children and lives; things that I could not really relate to but loved to hear and discuss about. We later on moved out to the park and this is where the conversation heated up.
My cousin is in her early forties and has 5 girls (oldest being 14 and the youngest somewhere around 5 I guess). Her husband married another woman without telling her after 12 years of marriage; this basically destroyed her and everything in her life. I was trying to comfort her and make her feel powerful by telling her that he (her husband) is not worth wasting her time thinking/worrying/crying over. But it was all in vain; she really wanted to but she would tell me it is impossible and if I was in her shoes, I believe it would be the same for me as well.
A little about her; she basically only graduated from high school and never continued her education. She got married and was taken to another city (being Abu Dhabi since she is originally from Dubai) by him and since then has in some ways not enjoyed her life to the max. She is very pretty and sexy but yet her husband went for an older and uglier prostitute (I came to that conclusion based on her description of the female; based on my previous encounter with some women since I got here). Her husband forced her to cover her face and rejected every request from her to finish her education. She was not allowed to work and will never be allowed as long as she is staying in his house. She wakes up early in the morning to get her girls ready for school and goes back to bed after she sends them off. She wakes up around noon if she doesn’t have friends over and basically tries to pastime by watching TV or cooking. She is not allowed to leave the house under any circumstances without telling her husband a couple of days in advance. She has to share her husband with his new wife; which also by the way means sharing the little income he gets. She doesn’t want to get a divorce because she basically won’t be able to live. She can’t work even if she wanted to since she has almost no qualification. She cannot stay at her parents’ home because she has 5 daughters and can’t drag them everywhere she goes. So the only option she has is to remain where she is and try to survive for the sake of her daughters.
After talking for hours, turns out she is not the only one. There are a lot of women who live like this (her sister being another culprit with her husband marrying 2 more and not just one). It’s not just about the husbands getting second wives only; there are women who after marriage have to leave everything else in their lives for the sake of their husbands. What I understood from them is that women do not have the power to say no to men. The government does not protect them and mostly stands in favor of the men. The whole time I was with them, I wanted to hit the men so hard so they couldn’t have erections anymore.
I felt very useless and felt that I had not done anything meaningful in my life. Questions kept running in my mind like; do we have these problems in Bahrain as well? Is it possible that we do and I never knew about them? Is it actually to this extreme? What percent of the women actually live like this? How can I help? What resources can I use to try and help these women? Why do the men do this to their wives? Why do they do this to their children? Can a father be that selfish?
There are a lot of thoughts and ideas that are running in my head at the moment. Mixed emotions at the same time.
Angry at how selfish people can be.
Frustrated because I don’t have any immediate solutions.
Sad because I feel sorry for the children and how they are being dragged in all this.
Happy that I got to know about this issue (better late than never).
Hopeful because maybe I can be of some help with some of the ideas I have that hopefully I will have time to work on them while I am here.
And much more…
This posting might be the worst to read since my sentences are either too long or too short and some of them probably make no sense at all. But I had to write about it and I had to write about it NOW.
And I thought I had problems!@#$&?%@%!?#@
My cousin is in her early forties and has 5 girls (oldest being 14 and the youngest somewhere around 5 I guess). Her husband married another woman without telling her after 12 years of marriage; this basically destroyed her and everything in her life. I was trying to comfort her and make her feel powerful by telling her that he (her husband) is not worth wasting her time thinking/worrying/crying over. But it was all in vain; she really wanted to but she would tell me it is impossible and if I was in her shoes, I believe it would be the same for me as well.
A little about her; she basically only graduated from high school and never continued her education. She got married and was taken to another city (being Abu Dhabi since she is originally from Dubai) by him and since then has in some ways not enjoyed her life to the max. She is very pretty and sexy but yet her husband went for an older and uglier prostitute (I came to that conclusion based on her description of the female; based on my previous encounter with some women since I got here). Her husband forced her to cover her face and rejected every request from her to finish her education. She was not allowed to work and will never be allowed as long as she is staying in his house. She wakes up early in the morning to get her girls ready for school and goes back to bed after she sends them off. She wakes up around noon if she doesn’t have friends over and basically tries to pastime by watching TV or cooking. She is not allowed to leave the house under any circumstances without telling her husband a couple of days in advance. She has to share her husband with his new wife; which also by the way means sharing the little income he gets. She doesn’t want to get a divorce because she basically won’t be able to live. She can’t work even if she wanted to since she has almost no qualification. She cannot stay at her parents’ home because she has 5 daughters and can’t drag them everywhere she goes. So the only option she has is to remain where she is and try to survive for the sake of her daughters.
After talking for hours, turns out she is not the only one. There are a lot of women who live like this (her sister being another culprit with her husband marrying 2 more and not just one). It’s not just about the husbands getting second wives only; there are women who after marriage have to leave everything else in their lives for the sake of their husbands. What I understood from them is that women do not have the power to say no to men. The government does not protect them and mostly stands in favor of the men. The whole time I was with them, I wanted to hit the men so hard so they couldn’t have erections anymore.
I felt very useless and felt that I had not done anything meaningful in my life. Questions kept running in my mind like; do we have these problems in Bahrain as well? Is it possible that we do and I never knew about them? Is it actually to this extreme? What percent of the women actually live like this? How can I help? What resources can I use to try and help these women? Why do the men do this to their wives? Why do they do this to their children? Can a father be that selfish?
There are a lot of thoughts and ideas that are running in my head at the moment. Mixed emotions at the same time.
Angry at how selfish people can be.
Frustrated because I don’t have any immediate solutions.
Sad because I feel sorry for the children and how they are being dragged in all this.
Happy that I got to know about this issue (better late than never).
Hopeful because maybe I can be of some help with some of the ideas I have that hopefully I will have time to work on them while I am here.
And much more…
This posting might be the worst to read since my sentences are either too long or too short and some of them probably make no sense at all. But I had to write about it and I had to write about it NOW.
And I thought I had problems!@#$&?%@%!?#@
Wednesday, November 7, 2007
Taking things for granted
This morning when I came to work someone came and reported that one of the students lost her father and brother and so she had to leave the college. Later on I realized one of the supervisors did not show up today and later they told me that her brother passed away last night. He was only 35 years old and single; he just got a heart attack and that was it for him. As the girls in the office were discussing when to visit her to give their condolences, one of the other girls got a call that her sister passed away. What are the odds of having all these deaths in one day?
The whole department is quiet and everyone has somehow gone into their own zone. In terms of what I am thinking is only about home. What if something happens to one of my close ones? Will they tell me immediately? What if a certain person I cared for dearly passed away without me telling that person how much I really cared for them?
Sometimes we take things for granted. Specially me; I was believe that thinks will make their way and will eventually work out. But what if I lost someone without saying sorry for all the trouble I gave them; without letting them know how much I love them and would be willing to do whatever they want as long as they are happy.
I guess I have a lot of phone calls to do and Emails to send today. Who knows when someone might leave us, or when I will leave myself.
The whole department is quiet and everyone has somehow gone into their own zone. In terms of what I am thinking is only about home. What if something happens to one of my close ones? Will they tell me immediately? What if a certain person I cared for dearly passed away without me telling that person how much I really cared for them?
Sometimes we take things for granted. Specially me; I was believe that thinks will make their way and will eventually work out. But what if I lost someone without saying sorry for all the trouble I gave them; without letting them know how much I love them and would be willing to do whatever they want as long as they are happy.
I guess I have a lot of phone calls to do and Emails to send today. Who knows when someone might leave us, or when I will leave myself.
Saturday, November 3, 2007
Abu Dhabi
So it’s been more than a week since I got here and there are so many things I want to talk about but I guess it would all be too much for one post.
Let’s start by Abu Dhabi itself. I’m starting to like this place; maybe some people might think it is very similar to Bahrain but I assure you it is not that similar from my current perspective. I think during my stay here I will be learning more about the lives of expatriates living in the GCC which I have thought of.
The other thing that I am starting to really like is the Abaya. For some reason I feel very comfortable wearing it; there were a couple of nights that I dressed up to go out but I ended up wearing the Abaya on top. I have always had the thought of becoming metahajiba/covering up (which I have already posted about) and I guess maybe with this experience I will have a clear opinion and understanding of what it is going to be like.
My mother calls me every day; her excuse in the beginning was because she was bored since my father was not in the country; but now that my father is back her excuse is that she wants to know if I’m still alive. It’s clear she misses me and wants to check up if I’m comfortable or not.
Last weekend, I met my family in Dubai and it was loads of fun. They were very excited to see me and so was I. Some of them came all the way from Sharjah and Abu Dhabi to see me and it felt so good. I spent most of the time at home with the family and didn’t want to go out. The next day we were invited to Ibrahim’s (one of the local Alumni) house who for lunch and then a gathering with all the AIESECers in the evening. Unfortunately I didn’t get to hang out with the @ers since I was busy learning from the MCs; but I did get time to spend with Ibrahim’s family at lunch and it was really nice. We talked about the reality of the country and about poverty in the country and how different it is from Bahrain. Exciting stuff; real eye opening conversations!!
The best thing in Dubai for me was Noora. She was one of my second cousin’s daughter and she is one sweet, bright & fun girl. She was shy in the beginning but once she got to know me better we had loads of fun together.
Let’s start by Abu Dhabi itself. I’m starting to like this place; maybe some people might think it is very similar to Bahrain but I assure you it is not that similar from my current perspective. I think during my stay here I will be learning more about the lives of expatriates living in the GCC which I have thought of.
The other thing that I am starting to really like is the Abaya. For some reason I feel very comfortable wearing it; there were a couple of nights that I dressed up to go out but I ended up wearing the Abaya on top. I have always had the thought of becoming metahajiba/covering up (which I have already posted about) and I guess maybe with this experience I will have a clear opinion and understanding of what it is going to be like.
My mother calls me every day; her excuse in the beginning was because she was bored since my father was not in the country; but now that my father is back her excuse is that she wants to know if I’m still alive. It’s clear she misses me and wants to check up if I’m comfortable or not.
Last weekend, I met my family in Dubai and it was loads of fun. They were very excited to see me and so was I. Some of them came all the way from Sharjah and Abu Dhabi to see me and it felt so good. I spent most of the time at home with the family and didn’t want to go out. The next day we were invited to Ibrahim’s (one of the local Alumni) house who for lunch and then a gathering with all the AIESECers in the evening. Unfortunately I didn’t get to hang out with the @ers since I was busy learning from the MCs; but I did get time to spend with Ibrahim’s family at lunch and it was really nice. We talked about the reality of the country and about poverty in the country and how different it is from Bahrain. Exciting stuff; real eye opening conversations!!
The best thing in Dubai for me was Noora. She was one of my second cousin’s daughter and she is one sweet, bright & fun girl. She was shy in the beginning but once she got to know me better we had loads of fun together.
Friday, October 26, 2007
UAE
24.10.2007
So I’m finally in the UAE! The first night I got here, we went out with the Dubai members, interns & Alumni for dinner. It was good to see some old faces again and definitely good to meet some of the friends I have made in AIESEC UAE.
After dinner I and Stella headed to Abu Dhabi with Mohammed who is a new friend of AIESEC. At the beginning of the trip Stella comforted me by telling me that it wasn’t a long trip, she said it would last ONLY an hour. And I was like “and that is what you call a short drive?? Did you know that you can get from one side of Bahrain to the other in 1 hour!!?” Then we started talking about Bahrain and the population and how small it is.
On our way, Mohammed kept on talking to me in Arabic because he found it difficult to talk in English. Since Stella didn’t understand a thing that we said, she decided to fall asleep and we continued to talk about the UAE and how people lived and the relationship between locals and expatriates etc. Although Bahrain is in the GCC, I never imagined it would be this different from the UAE.
Anyways when we got the apartment, I got the shock of my life. I was speechless and all I could do was smile and act as if it was normal. I never knew this kind of apartment (or whatever they want to call it) existed. It was a huge apartment with 5 rooms and in each room there were 2 – 4 people depending on the size of the room. Our room was huge, it was almost empty except for 2 beds and 2 cupboards; one for me and the other for Stella and later on the CEEDer Reham. The rest of the night I couldn’t concentrate and didn’t know what to do. How was I going to live like this? No personal space? The apartment was a total mess. The location was great but the apartment was crappy and everything thing in it was even crappier. How could I tell my family I was living in a place like this? They would tell me to get the hell back home. I have to share the bathroom and kitchen and later on I found out that two random ladies will also be living with us so I will be sharing the room as well. The whole night I couldn’t sleep; I finally fell asleep at something like 3 am and woke up again at 6.30 am.
In the morning we got ready to go to an external event which was key for AIESEC Abu Dhabi. In this event we got to meet with a lot of externals who were mostly directors and top officials in their businesses as well as some people with a hell lot of money. The best part of the event was the Eric was there. Eric was the main person who started up AIESEC in Bahrain and now that I am in charge of expanding to Abu Dhabi, I again have Eric by my side. It was good to see him there; in some ways when I saw him, I was very comforted and knew that even if I could not depend on anyone here I would have him to depend on.
After the event, we headed to the Abu Dhabi women’s college where my office was going to be. When we got there, turned out there was a Nobel Prize winner coming to speak at the college. I don’t know what her name was, but we joined in and I watched one of the most inspirational people in front of me talk about her life and her struggle in Africa to get into parliament. After that, I got to meet the director of the university and some of the people I will be sharing the office with.
The whole day, people kept talking to me in English, I figured they thought I was Indian or something and it pissed me off. After getting home, I decided that I would wear the Abaya so that I get more of an Arab look and this morning it worked fine. When we got out of the building this morning and I was an Emirati guy looking at me, I knew it worked!!
Lets see how this experience goes…
So I’m finally in the UAE! The first night I got here, we went out with the Dubai members, interns & Alumni for dinner. It was good to see some old faces again and definitely good to meet some of the friends I have made in AIESEC UAE.
After dinner I and Stella headed to Abu Dhabi with Mohammed who is a new friend of AIESEC. At the beginning of the trip Stella comforted me by telling me that it wasn’t a long trip, she said it would last ONLY an hour. And I was like “and that is what you call a short drive?? Did you know that you can get from one side of Bahrain to the other in 1 hour!!?” Then we started talking about Bahrain and the population and how small it is.
On our way, Mohammed kept on talking to me in Arabic because he found it difficult to talk in English. Since Stella didn’t understand a thing that we said, she decided to fall asleep and we continued to talk about the UAE and how people lived and the relationship between locals and expatriates etc. Although Bahrain is in the GCC, I never imagined it would be this different from the UAE.
Anyways when we got the apartment, I got the shock of my life. I was speechless and all I could do was smile and act as if it was normal. I never knew this kind of apartment (or whatever they want to call it) existed. It was a huge apartment with 5 rooms and in each room there were 2 – 4 people depending on the size of the room. Our room was huge, it was almost empty except for 2 beds and 2 cupboards; one for me and the other for Stella and later on the CEEDer Reham. The rest of the night I couldn’t concentrate and didn’t know what to do. How was I going to live like this? No personal space? The apartment was a total mess. The location was great but the apartment was crappy and everything thing in it was even crappier. How could I tell my family I was living in a place like this? They would tell me to get the hell back home. I have to share the bathroom and kitchen and later on I found out that two random ladies will also be living with us so I will be sharing the room as well. The whole night I couldn’t sleep; I finally fell asleep at something like 3 am and woke up again at 6.30 am.
In the morning we got ready to go to an external event which was key for AIESEC Abu Dhabi. In this event we got to meet with a lot of externals who were mostly directors and top officials in their businesses as well as some people with a hell lot of money. The best part of the event was the Eric was there. Eric was the main person who started up AIESEC in Bahrain and now that I am in charge of expanding to Abu Dhabi, I again have Eric by my side. It was good to see him there; in some ways when I saw him, I was very comforted and knew that even if I could not depend on anyone here I would have him to depend on.
After the event, we headed to the Abu Dhabi women’s college where my office was going to be. When we got there, turned out there was a Nobel Prize winner coming to speak at the college. I don’t know what her name was, but we joined in and I watched one of the most inspirational people in front of me talk about her life and her struggle in Africa to get into parliament. After that, I got to meet the director of the university and some of the people I will be sharing the office with.
The whole day, people kept talking to me in English, I figured they thought I was Indian or something and it pissed me off. After getting home, I decided that I would wear the Abaya so that I get more of an Arab look and this morning it worked fine. When we got out of the building this morning and I was an Emirati guy looking at me, I knew it worked!!
Lets see how this experience goes…
Monday, October 15, 2007
Tuesday, October 9, 2007
Iran
Filling my application to AD and looking into all the global strategies and structures was how I spent most of my time in Iran. I was very nervous with the application; questions like am I the right person? Is there someone who can do a better job than me? What the hell will I do there alone? ; kept running in my mind. All of these questions were answered when Jorein sent me my recommendation letter. The letter was so strong that I knew I was the right person for the job.
After a couple days after my first interview I headed off to Tehran to meet up the AIESECers there. It was one hell of a trip. The AIESECers were so motivated and thirsty to learn more. I was only there for a few days but every time I would meet up with them, they kept asking me how we did things in Bahrain and what I thought the best way would be. The thirst to learn more could be seen in their eyes and I was so happy and proud of them. AIESEC Iran will be facing a lot of difficulties for sure; they will have many challenges that maybe other countries haven’t faced due to their country reality but I am sure that with the members that are running the show it will all be possible. One the best things I like about the AIESECers there was that when they ask for your advise they actually listen to it and use some of it; which is something very rare.
Ramadan in Tehran was a bit different for me. The first we were having meetings in a park and for iftar two international students one from the Philippines and the other from Ireland joined us. We had ‘ash’ (kind of a soup) and tea to break our fast and then moved on to a restaurant for rice and kebabs. It was a wonderful evening filled with meaningful talk and a lot to learn. Although the two guys were not from AIESEC, the beauty of AIESEC was proved to me again. We were a group of 3 Germans, an Iranian, a Philippine, an Irish and a Bahraini having iftar together in Iran. Beautiful.
I returned back to Shiraz with Jonas, Jane and Gert and spent two wonderful days with them sightseeing and experiencing Shiraz. For me one of the best places we went was ‘Shah Cheraq’ which is a mosque where a very religious person is buried. While entering one of the guards asked if they were Muslim and my Aunt confidently answered ‘yes, yes they are Muslims’ (apparently non-Muslims were not allowed in which I think is a stupid thing to do). It was beautiful inside and best of all it was very peaceful; I wanted to cry for no reason.
After the guys left, I had a couple of days left for my family and I tried to make the most out of it. We went together for picnics after iftar, went Karting with the cousins who were very funny since some of them couldn’t drive, ate junk off the street (which by the way I love to do) and much more. They day I was leaving was very gloomy; I didn’t want to leave because I really enjoyed it there. It was the first time in my life that I have stayed so long in Iran and didn’t want to run back home. I loved it.
After a couple days after my first interview I headed off to Tehran to meet up the AIESECers there. It was one hell of a trip. The AIESECers were so motivated and thirsty to learn more. I was only there for a few days but every time I would meet up with them, they kept asking me how we did things in Bahrain and what I thought the best way would be. The thirst to learn more could be seen in their eyes and I was so happy and proud of them. AIESEC Iran will be facing a lot of difficulties for sure; they will have many challenges that maybe other countries haven’t faced due to their country reality but I am sure that with the members that are running the show it will all be possible. One the best things I like about the AIESECers there was that when they ask for your advise they actually listen to it and use some of it; which is something very rare.
Ramadan in Tehran was a bit different for me. The first we were having meetings in a park and for iftar two international students one from the Philippines and the other from Ireland joined us. We had ‘ash’ (kind of a soup) and tea to break our fast and then moved on to a restaurant for rice and kebabs. It was a wonderful evening filled with meaningful talk and a lot to learn. Although the two guys were not from AIESEC, the beauty of AIESEC was proved to me again. We were a group of 3 Germans, an Iranian, a Philippine, an Irish and a Bahraini having iftar together in Iran. Beautiful.
I returned back to Shiraz with Jonas, Jane and Gert and spent two wonderful days with them sightseeing and experiencing Shiraz. For me one of the best places we went was ‘Shah Cheraq’ which is a mosque where a very religious person is buried. While entering one of the guards asked if they were Muslim and my Aunt confidently answered ‘yes, yes they are Muslims’ (apparently non-Muslims were not allowed in which I think is a stupid thing to do). It was beautiful inside and best of all it was very peaceful; I wanted to cry for no reason.
After the guys left, I had a couple of days left for my family and I tried to make the most out of it. We went together for picnics after iftar, went Karting with the cousins who were very funny since some of them couldn’t drive, ate junk off the street (which by the way I love to do) and much more. They day I was leaving was very gloomy; I didn’t want to leave because I really enjoyed it there. It was the first time in my life that I have stayed so long in Iran and didn’t want to run back home. I loved it.
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